Annnnnnnnnd….. I got the paper. I have officially completed the 775km from St. Jean to Santiago. I will say that coming into Santiago was pretty anti climactic. Like every other city we walked into there was the new industrial part of the new city that leads into the old city. As we walked the last bit in I found myself meandering to the finish line. Not too determined to get to where we have been going for five weeks I found myself with my pack unbuckled, eating a sandwich and taking my own sweet dear time. That alone indicated my lack of desire to put the walk behind me. Or face what was ahead of me, and even behind.
Emotions, emotions, emotions. Before I left for this trip I was overwhelmed with emotions in the aftermath of competing my undergraduate degree. Since the beginning of this journey the hurricane of emotions has been kept at bay by my persistence to live in the moment and take in all that I can.
Temporarily skipping ahead one whole day after our completion and before we left to go to Paris, I had decided to venture down to the main plaza by the Cathedral to watch the days pilgrims make their way in. While I was there I ran into a fellow pilgrim that I had met about two weeks back. I will say that this particular pilgrim has held a special place in my heart ever since I first encountered him on my first night on my own in a separate albergue and town away from those I had been with. He shared with me his story, as we all do, and his name, Eugene.
I will say now that I am not one to believe in coincidences, and for such a kind, sweet, and thoughtful person to share the name of my deceased grandfather whom I was extremely close, was something that stuck out to me. So when I saw his wise and weathered figure walking towards me in the plaza I could feel my heart strings tug.
He sat down and we proceeded to share our experiences of our arrival into Santiago and began to discuss the emotions that have been bubbling up for some time. At one point he had mentioned his disappointment that when arriving in the main cathedral plaza there was no great fanfare, no mayor to shake hands with, or banners with our faces plastered all over them. I reflected on what he said, and replied that although that would have been nice, the lack of climax allows the pilgrims to tell themselves, “This is it. I am finished.”
For me, to think those words was one thing, but to come to terms with their meaning was something else entirely.
To tell yourself that you have reached the end, and not have the fanfare and external voices telling you so is a very internal and intimate process. A process that is not something you go through quickly and immediately, but for many will be something that will take a week, a month, maybe even years depending on their journey that they created for themselves.
To process all that we did, all that was accomplished, and the people we met is no small task. A lot happened in 5 weeks. We are not the same people that we were at the beginning. I said this before, but it is even more true now, we may have stopped walking but our pilgrimage is not yet over.
To finish in Santiago and receive the Compostela was a small victory, and more of a catalyst into the rest of the day. After the Compostela was safely in our possession we found our hotel to dump our extra appendages (aka our packs) and headed back to the Cathedral.
The Cathedral Santiago de Compostela is not only the end point for the Camino but known to be the resting place of Saint James, one of Jesus’ apostles. To wander the cathedral and not feel a sense of awe and wonder would be nearly impossible. Being Catholic it is difficult to hold back tears as I passed the many taking confession and look upon the resting place of the holy apostle. It's even more difficult when the mass is underway and I saw all of the walks of life that have been traveling with us, share the sanctity of a Catholic mass. Much like when I went to the National Catholic Youth Conference in 2011, it gave me hope to see so many people come together for the love God, or at the very least, the appreciation of a higher power.
Afterwards, we knew that we were pressed for time and set out for some food to tie us over and I was determined to find an American snack food shop that I had heard about. On a mission my friend Nick and I began our hunt for the heavily processed foods that our bodies had been denied for 5 weeks. By my masterful navigation skills we successfully found our shop with the heavenly angels singing and a glowing light surrounding the sign (wait, I might have gotten that part mixed up with mass). I wasn't able to find the Cool Ranch Doritos that I have been dreaming of for weeks, but settled on some Barbeque Lays and a Nerds Rope, and Nick went for the Dr. Pepper and Pringles. Content with my bounty, I picked my way back to the hotel to get ready for the End of the World.
Now I don't mean the literal end of the world, but what the Spanish sailors thought was the edge back when the earth was still considered flat. It is also the unofficial end of the Camino, where you find the 0.00km marker and where many pilgrims hike on to once they leave Santiago. We decided to take a taxi there to see the sights and enjoy the ever famous Pulpo with dinner. In preparation, and now in possession of my Paris luggage, I decided to make the trip even more special by wearing makeup, donning my usual jewelry, and dressing up a little bit.
I was not a fan of the makeup and jewelry. After over a month of neither they felt excessive and heavy. It almost felt like I was hiding behind them. Which made me wonder if I was hiding before without being fully aware of it. Not that it's bad to wear those things, but to know that you are just as, if not more, beautiful without them is something I believe most women aren't aware of.
For now I will leave out the Finesterre part of the tale for another post in order to focus on Santiago, so don't abandon reading the blog just because I got the paper.
When we got back around 8pm I wanted to explore more of the city and the night life. Not necessarily to go out and, “Get trashed mannn” but to see the city come to life. The streets were full of pilgrims and locals enjoying food and drink, celebrating and laughing. We ran into familiar faces and shared information so as our goodbyes would not be our last. In every plaza there was live music frequently paired with dancing and joy. It was impossible to not find the merriment contagious. It was the perfect way to end a momentous day.
